The strength of community

This past weekend I learned of the death of a fellow yoga teacher in the Boston community, Gabriel Feld. I did not know Gabriel personally, but I felt a deep sadness of learning of his death, especially at the young age of 24. As I talked with my fellow yogis, those who teach and practice, I began to learn a bit more about Gabriel and how much he was loved and respected in the Boston yoga community. I found that there were many of us who didn’t know him but also felt deeply connected and saddened by his death. As more of the story unfolded, I learned that his death was a suicide. It was a shock to me to know that someone who was so loved and supported in this community would take his own life, and leave his family and friends wondering why. Yet the more I have sat with this sadness I know and understand that his suffering was my own. Whatever darkness he felt I have felt too. My good friend Heather told me that as yogis we are much more intuitive and connected with ourselves, so this includes the darker more hidden aspects of our lives and personalities. I think we can get overwhelmed by this understanding (I know I do) and sometimes feel alone. But as soon as I talk to my yogi friends, step on my mat to practice or simply teach I understand that my experience is my students experience, my friends experience…. We all have the same fears. I didn’t know Gabriel well enough to speculate on what he was thinking in those final moments, but I do know that he wasn’t alone. And perhaps that’s what we can all learn from. We are spreaders of love and light but that is not all we carry. We carry our own suffering and that too can be shared.