Everyone connects differently

Practicing and teaching yoga has shown me that we all connect differently when it comes to our practice. Some of us connect physically, and like precise cueing that we can hear, or a pose that we can see demonstrated. Some of us connect to the feeling of a pose or movement, and enjoy less alignment, and more intuitively understanding what the body needs. Some of us connect more to what's said in class, the sound of a teacher's voice, the metaphors or spiritual insights they provide, and dont' care as much about what the body is doing. Most of us are a combination of these which demonstrated there's not one right way to your own truth.

I've come to my own truth (and when I say my own truth, I mean the privilege of knowing myself) through a variety of means. They were introspective as a child - many hours holed up in my room listening to music I connected to and writing depressing poetry for the emotions I couldn't quite process yet. As a teenager, and young college student, I connected through giving to another person, falling in love, and again dealing with the emotions I couldn't quite process or put my voice to through writing and experimental drug use. I came out of that fog numb and lost, and that's where yoga came into my life. For me, it was the final step in discovering my truth, in peeling back the layers that had built up, at finally processing the emotions underneath. What was left was me, raw and vulnerable. My beautiful truth had been revealed and I realized all was not lost afterall.

Here I am, about 10 weeks pregnant, connecting to my baby in my own way. I find the moments I connect the most are during my yoga practice or in quiet reflection. Sometimes I may talk as I rest my hand on my belly, but mainly I tune in, I listen. These early moments here are reminding me that as many times as I want to talk to my child, tell them how it is so to speak, there will be many more moments I'll need to listen. Only then will I know how to respond. Understanding my own process of connection has helped me to understand Josh's way is not my way. I tend to talk more than he does about hopes, fears, how I'm feeling and I used to think this meant he was disconnected. He's told me it's him remaining present to what is now - and not to dwell on what has not come to pass. I find that already a challenge as a parent to be and I admire him for keeping it simple. We get the usual question of if we'll find out the sex of the baby. When I tell them that we will, sometimes I hear "you should wait, it's the biggest surprise there is! be cool with the unknown, isn't that what yoga folks do?" etc etc I honestly thought I'd wait. I have a partner in this pregnancy and Josh told me immediately he wanted to know. I questioned him, and he said he's an inquisitive person. I thought more about it and realized this is HIS way to connect. He finds out it's a boy or a girl, and he can begin to place his hand on my belly and feel his son or daughter, or talk to his son or daughter, or just in his own time reflect on them. So no, I am not going to take the Draino test. Or hold a pendulum over my belly, or place a penny on my belly, or however many other old wise tales I've heard can detect the sex of the baby (though I did do the Chinese gender prediction test early on!). I'll keep connecting, practice what IS, and look forward to the knowledge of our son or daughter, news that will come one way or another :)