Belonging

This past weekend was the graduation of the 2010-2011 South Boston Yoga teacher trainees. It was a weekend of joy, of celebration, and sadness over the end of what was an amazing 7 months. I was more excited than sad because I had seen the unveiling of these 50 or so individuals over the course of these 7 months. They learned to choose freedom first, and with that they will shine wherever they go. I also knew that because of this time we spent together, they belonged to me, and I belonged to them. I witnessed their process and for that I am forever grateful because it changed me as well. The time we spent together formed a connection, and I truly believe we will feel like we've come home, like we belong, whenever we see each other again.

All of that being said, I think it's easy to lose this sense of belonging as years past, as our lives change, and we start to forget and feel lost. We question whether we are where we are supposed to be, perhaps with the person we are supposed to be with, or doing the job we're supposed to be doing. We forget that until we feel we have a place where we are, we will not have a place anywhere. Until we feel we belong where we are, we will not belong anywhere.

So much time is spent resisting where we are, looking forward or looking back, wanting and desiring more. I am not saying that if you're in a suck your spirit dry job or loveless relationship that that is where you belong, but in a sense, if you are there, you need to take a closer look before you can move forward. You need to understand what part of you feels it belongs there and often when you take a look, you realize that part of you isn't working anymore, and then you can move on.

When I moved to MA, I moved here for a boy. I was dating someone in college, we graduated, and he and his family lived here. I decided to come even though I had doubts. It was where I belonged. The relationship ended soon after moving here and I was left with no car, no apt, very little money, and no friends. Where did I belong now? I thought about packing it all in and moving back to NY to live with my parents and in a town I did not want to be in. I knew that was not what I wanted and I knew that was not where I belonged. I got into therapy, I got a car, learned to drive stick, got an apt with roommates, and got into yoga. I found peace within myself and belonging there.

It feels like it's not an easy task to belong because we put up walls as to why we can't connect with this person, or do this job, or live in this place, etc etc If there were no walls, it would be easy to belong anywhere, because you are at home with YOURSELF. If we keep running away, we won't belong whether we are single, married or divorced, in our dream job or a job we loathe, living in sunny California or snowy Boston. Belong where you are before you can belong anywhere.