Friday, May 20, 2011

Yoga teachers UNITE

I have been hearing a lot of talk lately whether on Facebook or just with friends I know in the yoga community about what does or doesn't make a good yoga teacher. Some people say creative and safe sequencing, advanced physical practice, attention to alignment are important in class. Some say a teacher who is spiritual and compassionate, and gives them a daily dose of insight. Some say just a teacher who looks hot and plays good music, a teacher you can have fun with in class.

All of this tells us that everyone's idea of a great yoga teacher is not going to be the same. We step onto the path of yoga at different places in our lives, and we walk on this path hopefully growing and changing in our practice, both physically and spiritually. I know that all of the above has spoken to me at one time or another.

Personally, I am in a place where I have done a good dose of spiritual work on my own, and with the help of some incredible teachers. I enjoy a creative sequence that challenges me and accesses new places in my body that I connect to through my breath. I don't care so much about good music (though it can help) or flow, or a teacher who is fun, but a teacher who guides me safely and is compassionate and confident in what they are teaching me. I am at a point in my practice where the teacher is truly myself. The teacher at the front of the room is not a god or goddess to me, but an inspiration. Some teachers are more inspiring to me than others, but this doesn't mean that whoever is teaching doesn't have worth in my eyes. When your practice becomes your practice, you can take with whomever and enjoy your class. You'll have your favorites but you won't judge the first time teacher who's leading you through a basic flow and probably nervous as all hell - cause I have been that teacher! You also won't judge that teacher who doesn't give you a dose of spirituality cause you got that all taken care of by yourself - you don't need someone else to make you feel inspired or happy.

The physical practice of yoga has been my connection to something deeper. The breath and challenge of more advanced postures has made me understand patterns of holding in my body, and ultimately patterns of holding within myself. I don't go in expecting this or that, but when something incredible happens, like when I was able to touch my foot to my head in pigeon the other day, the feeling was amazing. Not so much a feeling of accomplishment, but a feeling of elation, joy. Something shifted within me to make this possible. And yes, I look forward to the day I can balance in the middle of the room in handstand - cause I believe it will happen! My spiritual work is more my own now - listening, observing and being with what shows up for me in class as I breath, and I don't need a daily dose of spirituality to get there.

I think so many of us as yoga teachers eventually start to feel entitled and feel we can judge what makes a great teacher. It's all a matter of opinion. All we can do is teach authentically, with honesty. I know when a teacher gets under my skin so to speak it's something for me to look at. Why does it bother me this teacher has a larger class than mine? Why does it bother me this teacher can jump into crow and I can't? Why does it bother me this teacher is being raved about by someone and it's not me they are raving about?

I am the teacher who's continued practicing at a yoga studio after I had taught there and was told I wasn't a good fit. I am the teacher who practiced at a place I loved even though I could go for free elsewhere and eventually ended up teaching at this place. I am the teacher who has upset or had words with other teachers and then shows up to take their class. I have guts and heart. I challenge myself both physically and spiritually because I know that is the only way I am going to grow. Sometimes that challenge resides in less, sometimes it resides in more. We are here to be the human examples of change. Through this change is our potential, our purpose. So I am giving the shout out, yoga teachers UNITE. Quit your bitchin.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

We are worthy

These days when we step outside everything is changing before our eyes. Doesn't it seem like we get a ton of rain one day and then overnight we wake up to grass and flowers and everything blooming? My life has felt this energy of change lately, too. It becomes harder for me to keep up with this blog and my periods of reflection because so much is happening around me that I am a part of. Perhaps you feel this too. The sluggishness of winter is falling away, and the upbeat excitability of Spring is here. More people want to get together, more people want to make things HAPPEN. It's a great feeling. Yet it can also be fearful as well, because we are encouraged to come out of our shells, our hibernation, and many of us are more comfortable out of the mix, rather than right in it.

Just last week I came home after a long day to find a voicemail and email and Facebook messages saying "Did you see? You're in Yoga Journal!" I had no idea what anyone was talking about. I discovered through friends that I was in this month's Yoga Journal on page 24, assisting the ladies of Hello House, a substance abuse treatment center I used to teach at for yogaHOPE, www.yogahope.org, a non-profit I also worked for. YogaHOPE and Sue Jones are a huge part of where I am today. When I was on the brink of change, in the Fall of 2007, wanting to teach full time but fearful if I could do it, Sue Jones and yogaHOPE showed me the way by hiring me as their part time Volunteer Coordinator - after I took the leap and quit my full time job! I had been teaching for yogaHOPE for some time then and considered it part of my giving back what yoga had brought me, to women who weren't likely to receive it, but could so benefit from yoga. I gave up my teaching position and part time position at YH about a year ago so I could make more space to grow my teaching and practice.

After hearing about this photo in YJ, (I still haven't seen it!) I contacted Sue and asked her about it. She said "Hey, maybe it's time for you to come back? Our new Trauma Informed Mind Body Programming is incredible!" And wouldn't you know it, she had a meeting that week about this programming on a night I could attend, for current and old teachers. I went and heard all about this programming we had dreamed about that was now in place and being implemented in a pilot facility. I was all excited to see how this year had shaped yogaHOPE, and reflected on how this year had shaped me as well. When I left yogaHOPE, I had been asked to teach at South Boston Yoga, my yoga community but certainly not a place I expected to teach at, because these were all my "gurus" so to speak. I was fearful of standing amongst my gurus, and was not sure I was worthy. And here I am a year later, part of the amazing teaching community there, and my teaching and personal practice has grown leaps and bounds as a result. How wonderful to see the same changes for yogaHOPE!

To place the icing on the cake to speak, Sue texts me the next day after this meeting to let me know that one of the teachers for yogaHOPE's main fundraiser, Saluting the Spirit, cannot make it and would I teach on that day. This fundraiser has been one of the biggest yoga fundraisers in Boston for a few years now. The lineup of teachers from the Boston area is incredible. And here Sue is, asking me, if I would join! I of course said yes, but not without fear. Who am I, to be considered, a voice says. Again, to be a part of something with the people I look up to and supporting a cause that is dear to me for what it brings to the community, and for how it has shaped my life - the emotions are almost too much to try and describe. Yet it's these emotions, these experiences that make me worthy.

So here I am, standing amongst the clouds so to speak, and still feeling my feet on the ground. What I take from all of this is that change is happening to all of us all the time. It's when we fear the most, that change is truly upon us. Every time something big has happened in my life it's because I've been willing to go there - to go to that place where the critical voice inside my head says who am I, this is not possible. Yet something believes. Something says I AM. Something says YES. In many ways it's a piece of God, of the Divine - that knows purpose and possibility. It is yours just as much as it is mine. We are worthy.